Sometimes “negative self talk” is pointing to something that we need to take responsibility for.
The popular idea seems to be that negative self-talk is only something we pick up from the criticism of others that contributes to poor self-esteem, that it’s not our true voice or true self speaking to us, and that the things it’s trying to tell us are lies.
I think most of us logically know on some level that this isn’t the case. And as a result we spiral trying to escape the horrible feelings without stopping to see what’s true and where our responsibility ends and begins. We’re told that we feel bad because someone made us feel bad at some point and not because we’re responsible in any way for what’s happening in our life.
And sure, if that voice is telling you that you’re a worthless piece of shit and will never amount to anything, that isn’t truth – there’s nothing objective about it, it’s pure value judgement and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
But if that voice is trying to alert us to habits, behaviors, choices we’re making that are keeping us out of alignment with our integrity and who we want to be- it’s going to feel like absolute shit to actually listen to it.
The real lie is that anything that makes us feel bad is an untruth and of no real value.
Because you are going to find that there are things that make you feel bad that are pointing you in the direction of where you actually want to go.
And that you are the one who makes the choice between wallowing in self-hatred or utilizing the power you have over your choices, actions, and behaviors to do something different.
The impulse to ignore, naysay, or try to squash into oblivion what hurts us inside robs us of the opportunity to practice strength and maturity.
It takes strength and commitment to integrity to look at those voices honestly and see where we need to step up to grow and reach our true potential.