The Connections I Seek to Nurture

Dec 5, 2021

As I grow, the connections I nurture and seek to call into my life are ones with a deep capacity to engage with the challenging and complex realities of being human.

They do not expect perfection because they know it doesn’t exist.

They understand difference and accept it- accepting even that difference is hard to accept.

They understand conflict, and that humans often fall below ideal expectations.

They accept that this is hard to accept.

They commit to holding space for that which is hard to accept.

And most importantly they commit to being whole people in relationship to whole people.

They are committed to being strong in their own sense of self.

They speak honestly and authentically because they don’t fear my feelings or reactions.

Not because I need to prove I will respond the way they want me to, but because they can handle my disappointment or disagreement, because they are so solid in themselves that my disagreement is not a threat to what they know is true inside of them

These are not relationships we are taught to have.

The relationships we are taught to have are as shallow as they are fragile.

But I don’t believe that as individuals, communities, or even as a species, we will find the intimacy or the security we crave unless we seek to create relationships that hold connection amidst the inevitable discord of being two distinct beings in close proximity.