Differentiation = falling in love with the same person anew


In the process of doing the work of differentiation, at some point you will find yourself stunned to meet an entirely new set of people you don’t recognize emerge from behind faces you once felt intimately familiar with.

Suddenly the eyes of the person you’ve been waking up next to for years will have a glimmer of clarity you’ve never seen before.

You’ll look in the mirror and see a person carrying strength and tenderness in a way you didn’t know was possible.

It might startle you but it won’t frighten you. It will excite you and allure you. It will wake up a childlike playfulness in you.

Something you didn’t know could happen with someone you’d felt so used to.

You will feel like you can move mountains with the raw, untapped power and potential you have both just discovered.

You will be able to look the void of eternity in the eye and somehow hold the entirety of our great and messy existence with a sense of peace.

This moment will be fleeting, but you’ll never forget it. You’ll always remember this as a place you can return to. And with time you’ll learn to remember how to get there:

Surrender to what is.

Accept the risks of love and loss. Be unwaveringly you enough to show up fully, and be flexible enough to transform in the ways it’s necessary.

Keep the brevity of our human existence close to your heart to remember we have no time to waste in being the people we are meant to be, and loving abundantly and with courage.